Good Enough
by Angsty Fudge
Summary: After Edward comes back in New Moon Bella isn't sure if he's staying with her because he loves her or if it's just out of guilt.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I sadly, do not have the rights to Edward, Bella, Twilight, or New Moon. T-T Now I feel all emo... 

Alrighty then, basically this story is about how Bella going to try to become good enough for Edward. I hope it'll be angsty/dramatic, but this is my first shot at Twilight fanfiction and angst/drama. So errrr...wish me luck? Oh, and review. You would be luffed so much. I really enjoy reading feedback. I do intend to continue this story, but I won't update until I know someone's reading it.

Music really did help me write this. Normally, I can't sit down and just write a whole chapter. I have to get up and do something and come back or I get frustrated. I have to thank Staind, Evanescence, Rascall Flatts, and Linkin Park for helping me write this.

Just in case any of you were curious here were the songs that helped me write this:

Staind - Right Here (I luffs this song. It helped so much.)

Evanescence - Good Enough (Ahh...the amazing voice of Amy Lee strikes again. This song was practically perfect.)

Linkin Park - In the End (I'm not quite sure why this helped. I guess I was a tad moody while writing this. xD)

Rascall Flatts - My Wish (I'm not quite sure why this inspired me, but I must've listened to it a thousand times while writing this, which is quite odd because I don't like country music. xP)

Anywho...on with the story:

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"_But how could you believe me? After all the times I've told you I love you, how could you let one word break your faith in me?"_

_I didn't answer. I was too shocked to form a rational response._

"_I could see it in your eyes, that you_ _honestly **believed** that I didn't want you anymore. The most absurd, ridiculous concept – as if there were any way that **I **could exist without needing **you**!_

_I was still frozen. His words were incomprehensible, because they were impossible._

_He shook my shoulder again, not hard, but enough that my teeth rattled a little._

"_Bella," he sighed. "Really what were you thinking!"_

I sat there still dumbfounded. Was he really saying what I thought he was saying? It was completely and utterly unfathomable, yet there he sat still as a marble statue, waiting for my response. Even as I tried to form a sentence, I found I couldn't. I could only sit there with my mouth hanging wide open. I must've looked like an idiot…

He sighed once more. "Oh, Bella how can I say this so you will believe me? I love you. I've _always_ loved you. I _will_ always love you."

I didn't believe him. I didn't believe him for one second. How could he have always loved me? Was he not the one who stood in front of me months ago saying he _didn't_ want me?

My lack of response caused a long, penetrating silence. His eyes still searched mine for an answer and I found I could no longer look into them. I quickly averted his gaze, turning my head downward.

He ran his hand through his hair. "You don't believe me do you?" He groaned. Even in his frustration, his voice was angelic.

I still found I had nothing to say. My mind screamed out "_No! I don't believe you!"_ But no words came to my lips. I wasn't quite sure how to respond to this. Even worse, I couldn't even find the courage to look at him. My eyes remained fixated and plastered downward.

I suddenly felt an icy, cold hand caress my cheek. The breath I had taken was lodged in the back of my throat and once again I forgot how to breathe. His hand made its way down to my chin and he lifted it upward so I could face him.

As soon as I looked into his eyes I was lost in a sea of darkness. I still hadn't breathed. He was so close…oh so very close. I could feel his breath on my lips. "Oh…" I murmured unintelligently.

"Bella, please tell me what you are thinking." His voice was soft. He was dazzling me again. His eyes were as gorgeous as ever.

My response was weak; the softest of whispers. "I – I don't believe you." I wasn't sure of what his reaction would be. I managed to break out of his light grip and turn my head away once more.

I could feel his stare even if I wasn't looking at him. "What can I do to make you believe me?" His voice was tortured, anguished.

I was surprised. He generally seemed saddened by the fact that I didn't believe him. I turned my head to face him, finally rounding up enough courage to look into those beautiful eyes. My voice came out hoarse and I just realized that my eyes were watering up. "I – I don't know…Edward." It had been so long since I said his name I even found it hard to say now.

"Bella, please just – just give me another chance. I swear I'll do anything to keep you safe and happy. If I'd known that my absence was going to put you in danger and cause you pain I never would have left."

He seemed sincere enough, yet I still wasn't sure what to do. I _did_ love him. I loved him so much. But what if he decided to just up and leave again? What if he really, truly decided he didn't want me? It wasn't like I was something special. I was ordinary, klutzy, and a magnet for danger.

"Bella?"

His voice was once again full of anguish. I had to respond, but first I needed to think. "Just give me a human moment, okay?" The words came out icier than I intended them to. I saw him wince, just slightly and then he became completely still.

I mulled over the situation for I don't know how long, yet he never complained. After sitting there brooding for however long I had come to the conclusion that I did want him to stay…I wanted to just be with him. I realized there was a good chance he might leave again, but if it was another day I got to spend with him then I could face whatever pain came after it.

Another thought crossed my mind crossed my mind though. What if he was only staying with me out of guilt? What if he was lying to me? What if he truly didn't love me? I knew I was plain, ordinary there was nothing special about me. What would tempt him to stay? I really hoped that wasn't the situation. Coldness suddenly swept over me and I shuddered. Well, if that was the case I would do anything and everything in my power to make him love me. I'd be perfect, I'd try harder. I'd do anything I could to make him stay.

"Edward?" I questioned.

"Yes?" He wasn't a statue anymore. He was fully alert; ready for whatever I had to say.

I took a long, shaky breath. "I…I want you to stay. I love you. I love you _so _much." Tears started to cloud my vision and I moved my hand to rub them away, but Edward was faster. He wiped my tears away and pulled me into a tight hug. Although his entire body was cold, I felt warm and tingly all over. I clung to him, burying my head in his chest.

He laid a light kiss on my hair. "Are you sure it will make you happy if I stay?" He murmured.

"Of course I'm sure… I love you, Edward." My proclamation was muffled in his shirt, but he seemed to hear it clearly.

He pulled me back and looked into my eyes. My breath caught once more and it took a second before I remembered how to breathe. Of course, I had no time to breathe once the realization hit me for his lips came down lightly on mine. My head spun and I felt dizzy. I foolishly and eagerly crossed that line that he had set, yet he didn't seem to care. His lips came crashing down on mine full force. I dug my fingers into hair and kissed him with as much passion as I could. He groaned and pushed me back. I flushed a bright red and mumbled a quick, sheepish sorry.

"It's…alright." Edward breathed unevenly. "I think you need to get some sleep now."

I nodded. "Will you stay with me?"

He seemed to contemplate his answer. I winced. He was contemplating…that wasn't good.

His answer was slightly hesitant, but he quickly covered it up with a perfect smile. "Of course."

I put on a fake smile and I got under the covers. I felt his arms wrap around me and I almost felt whole again. As I lay there trying to sleep, I made a vow to him:

Edward, I swear I'll do whatever I can to get you to love…I promise I'll be worth your time. I'll be good enough. I'll be worth sticking around for this time.

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See the purple-ish button? PUSH IT! And review!...Please?


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I'm very sorry for the long wait. Due to my laziness, lack of self confidence, writer's block, and school It's been hard trying to write. This chapter didn't turn out to be as good as I wanted it to be. I realize Bella is a bit OOC, but that's kind of needed for the story. I also realize Edward seems really moody for no apparent reason (unless my plot is that obvious), but that will be cleared up eventually. I just want to thank everyone who reviewed. You guys are so awesome! And now on with the story...

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A few weeks later life returned to normal…with a few exceptions; Charlie had declared that Edward wasn't allowed to come through the front door of the house (but he was fully obliged to come through the window), Jacob still wouldn't talk to me, and Charlie was definitely stricter. I didn't think much about these exceptions strangely enough. I focused mainly and strictly on my promise to Edward. To put it point blank I was obsessed with it. I tried harder in school than I ever had before. It's not like I had horrible grades or that I never exerted myself before, but I certainly could be better. I also became obsessed with my looks. I hate to seem one who has a serious vanity issue, but I wanted to be perfect. Laughable, isn't it? But Edward is perfection and he deserves better than a clumsy, average, danger prone girl. Sadly, it was downright impossible for me to ever become someone who could deserve him, yet some part of me keeps hoping I'll eventually be good enough.

As I pulled up to the school I noticed Edward's Volvo. A bittersweet smile crossed my face as I moved in to park next to his car. We had agreed earlier that he couldn't just meet me at my house anymore. Charlie was getting suspicious and he wouldn't leave for work until I left for school. I guess Billy must have said something about seeing Edward there before. I parked my truck and got out, only to turn around and find Edward there. If I wasn't so used to it I might have dropped my books or done something embarrassing, but instead I only stumbled a bit. I smiled. "Hey."

He sent me a crooked smile and much to my complete and utter dismay it made my heart rate go up and it sent an electric shock through me. I was once again reminded about how insignificant I was. I resisted the urge to sigh and it took all the will power in me to not to open up to him and spill my guts out. Instead I tried to act normal and I simply asked. "Shouldn't we be getting to class?" He stared at me for a moment with his perfect, black orbs; he must've not fed yet. When I said nothing else he frowned and nodded; starting off to our first class.

As we walked to class a tension was formed between us and we were left walking in an uncomfortable silence. I could tell he wasn't happy; the scowl on his face proved that. I walked silently still trying to figure out if and how I would approach him.

"What are you thinking?" I finally asked desperately. He said nothing, continuing to glare at nothing in particular. I found I had nothing to say and we continued to walk in silence. I was kind of angry that he didn't try to talk to me, but I guess I deserved it. I tried to act dignified, like it didn't bother me that he wasn't talking to me, but I knew it must've shown. He turned to me then and opened his mouth to say something. Of course, due to impeccable timing and superb coordination skills I tripped just at that moment over nothing in particular. He caught me and steadied me, the whole thing happened in less than a second. I flushed a bright red and he immediately let go of me. He took a deep breath and looked away.

When we finally reached the classroom and we sat down in our seats. He still refused to speak to me and I zoned out unintentionally. What could I have done that would have bothered him so much? I turned to look at him and found that he was staring at me. I was about to ask him what was wrong when the teacher called on me. What a coincidence. Once again I found myself blushing, having no idea what the teacher had asked. Edward sensed my distress and he whispered the answer. I nodded thankfully and repeated it. The teacher was surprised that I had come up with the answer. Obviously she had realized I hadn't been paying attention at all. Well, at least now that she thought I was paying attention she might leave me alone.

My assumption thankfully was correct. For the rest of the period she didn't call on me and that saved me from further embarrassment. By the end of the period however, Edward still hadn't said anything else besides the answer he had whispered to me earlier. I was becoming slightly paranoid, wondering what I could have done wrong. Whatever it was I would have to work on it so that I wouldn't make the same mistake again.

The rest of the day was a melancholy blur. Edward still hadn't said anything to me and my newly found paranoia was really starting to kick in. He walked me to my truck and I wondered if I should even ask if he was coming over tonight. Could I even handle him coming over? I wondered what would happen if he did. What if I suddenly broke down in front of him? I was already enough of a burden. I certainly didn't want to seem more of a nuisance than I already was.

I was surprised when he turned to me and smiled that amazing crooked smile of his. "Are you intent on going home right away?" He asked.

I must have looked like a simpleton staring at him in shock. He waited patiently smirking at me. I swear one of these days his mood swings are going to kill me. "No, I don't need to go home right away. Charlie is taking a late shift tonight." I said.

He continued to dazzle me with his smile and he led me to his car. "You're going to drive?" I cringed. Sure, it was a stupid question, but his driving was terrifying.

He scowled at me. Great another mood swing. "Of all the things you could be worrying about..." He trailed off and I let out a small, slightly insecure laugh.

"Just promise me you'll drive at a reasonable speed." I begged, half teasing, half fearing for our lives.

And once again he was smirking at me. "Define reasonable."

I groaned and buried my head in my hands. I was happy though when I heard him chuckle. Before I could even see him move he had cut me off and opened the passenger side door for me. "Very human." I smiled, shaking my head as I got into the car.

I saw him smile again and he had started the car before I had even put my seatbelt on. "So where are we going?"

"You'll see." He said, still grinning.

I groaned. "I _hate _surprises. Can't you just tell me – Edward?" I _still_ had difficulty saying his name. I guess that I'd get over eventually…well, that is if he stuck around that long. I still wondered why he was still here. I wondered why he was suddenly talking to me again. Had he not ignored me practically all day? He never ceased to confuse me.

Lost in my thoughts, I hadn't even realized he had started driving. I looked out the window and everything moved by so fast. As he started to near his destination I realized where he was taking me. The thought made me want to cry. He was taking us to the meadow. When I turned to look at him I found him staring at me. "The road!" I cried.

He laughed at me again. "Oh Bella, we're almost there. Don't worry I won't crash. Have I ever done so before?"

I folded my arms across my chest and huffed. He parked the car and in a flash he opened my door. As soon as I got out of the car he lifted me over his shoulder and took off running. I gasped in surprise and went to scold him, but I was practically breathless as he ran through the forest. It was more so because of being so close to him, his skin contacting with mine rather than how fast he was running.

When we arrived at the spot – our spot I could've sworn I was dreaming. He was here again…with me. I'd never thought that we'd be here again. He laid down in the grass and I sat next to him. I found myself staring at him, losing myself in his presence. I couldn't determine whether the silence that had fallen over us was comfortable or not.

I sighed. Everything seemed so different from what it used to be. I reached a hand out to touch his cool, marble skin. It seemed to be the only thing that remained the same. When my hand touched his cold one, he flinched and almost pulled it away. "I'm sorry." I muttered, retracting my hand.

He reached out and grabbed my wrist, stopping the motion of my hand. "No, it's fine." He said in his wonderful, velvety voice. "I was just a bit surprised that's all." He relaxed his grip on my hand. I nodded speechlessly and started to trace his hand with mine again. It was just like the first time we had been here only…different. Maybe it felt different because I knew the truth. I knew it was impossible for him to love me. For some odd reason I had believed him back then, but I know better now. It certainly didn't make me feel so great about myself, but I was with he was with me right now so why did it matter.

The ache I felt in my heart told me it did matter. I wanted to him to love me. I'd spent so much time lamenting on this and I hadn't even come up with a solution yet. I sighed and continued just to touch him. I moved slowly so that I wouldn't startle him again.

The rest of the time we spent there was practically silent. We had to go after about two hours; otherwise Charlie would beat us home. When it came around the time we had to leave Edward stood up abruptly and offered me his hand. When I took it, he pulled me up and lifted me over his shoulder in one motion.

Sadly, the car ride home was just as anti-climatic and silent. I desperately wanted to reach out and say something, but I wasn't sure of what kind of a mood he was in. Instead, I silently looked out the window. I was glad he was driving at a reasonable speed, even if it was his definition of it.

I was almost afraid we wouldn't make it home before Charlie, but we did. I let out a sigh of relief when I saw that his care wasn't in front of the house. Edward opened my door as he always did and walked me to the door.

Before I could even ask the question he started giving me the answer. "I'm sorry Bella, but I can't stay tonight." I nodded. To be truthful, I hadn't expected him to. The day didn't exactly go perfectly. He leaned in closer to me and I felt light headed. He kissed my forehead. "Goodnight Bella."

I muttered a quick goodnight, and once again I tried not to show how upset I was. I stood at the door watching, him until he left. When he was gone I entered the house and went straight up to bed. I did the "human minute" thing and I didn't even bother to eat. I decided to go to bed early knowing that if I stayed up the only thing I'd do would be thinking of him. I sighed dejectedly; put on my headphones, and laid down to go to sleep.

When Edward came back everything was supposed to be perfect. He was my love, my life, my everything. If that true, then why does it feel like a part of me is still missing, still torn out? As I closed my eyes to fall asleep that was the last thought that crossed my mind.

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Review for the ever angstiful fudge...please? XD I would really appreciate any critisism you have to give. Thanks in advance! Angsty Fudge 


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry for the long wait! I was on vacation and then there was a problem with editing...but yeah...I'm alive. SOOOO...here's the next chapter. I've been told by my friends that some people seem out of character so I'd appreciate hearing what you readers think. If it sucks as much as I think it does, I'll rewrite it.

Disclaimer: I sadly do not own anything...except the plot. T-T

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I looked down at my desk where the biology test I had taken last week currently was. There it sat, flipped upside down and graded. I turned it over and stole a quick look at the grade. To my shock, there was a big, fat F written in red ink at the top of the test. Was it just me or was this a bit cliché? Somehow and I'm not quite sure how I did it, but I resisted the urge to throw a fit about the grade. How could I have gotten an F? I groaned. This F was going to kill my grade. It was a major test and I had bombed it. I had been too worried about fixing things between Edward and I and things only seem to have gotten worse between us. Not only was my obsession with making things better affecting us, but it seemed to have affected my grades as well. Edward must have noticed my distress because he leaned over in his chair towards me. "Is something wrong?" he asked, his musical voice tinged with worry.

I shook my head and attempted to show carelessness. "No, nothing's wrong." I looked at him and smiled shakily, hoping he'd accept the lie, but I knew he didn't. I didn't want him to know about the grade. It would just be another imperfection of mine that would be smeared across a canvas with the rest of my flaws. He seemed to look at me for a few more seconds, his beautiful topaz eyes boring into mine before I turned away. I knew what he was doing. He was attempting to dazzle me so that I would tell him what was wrong. I refused to give up and I stared down at my desk where the paper still was.

I was thankful when the teacher put on a movie during class. It gave me time to mull over my grade and try to figure out what to do. I looked over a few times during the movie to see Edward staring at me and each time our eyes met I'd quickly look away. I looked down at the turned over paper and considered my options.

1. I could go to the teacher and ask for help or for extra credit work.

2. I could ask another student for help.

3. I could just cave in and ask Edward for help.

As for the latter, I definitely wasn't up for it. I was already a disappointment to Edward and I couldn't afford to be worse. The first option was good if I wanted the best help, but the teacher might call Charlie. I was in enough trouble as it was and I didn't need Charlie on my case for something else. The second option however didn't seem so bad. I would just have to make sure I was out of Edward's hearing range when I asked for help. I wondered just exactly who I could ask. It couldn't be Alice or anyone else who was related to Edward. Jessica wouldn't do it; she seemed to hate me now. Angela might've done it, but I never got too close to her.

Someone's name popped into my head much to my dismay. _Mike Newton…_ My brain screamed out at me. It was perfect. We worked together and I was sure he would agree to help, but I didn't want him saying something that would lead Edward to suspect that I was spending my time with Mike Newton.

My thoughts were cut off by the bell ringing and I jumped up in surprise; suddenly taken out of my daze. I wanted to kick myself for being so stupid. After mulling over my grade I had missed a whole other lesson. I sighed and picked up my bag. I was once again already lost in my thoughts after the initial shock of the bell ringing and I failed to realize that there was a bag in my way where I was walking. Clumsiness struck again and I was sent sprawling downward. Instead of hitting the floor as I suspected I would I felt cold arms encase me. To say I was surprised would have been an understatement. I wasn't expecting him to catch me after the long bouts of silence that rained upon us. I felt heat rise up to my cheeks and I looked up into Edward's eyes. "Thanks…" I muttered and pushed myself out of his arms. I caught a look of his anguished face as he let go of me. I wanted to ask him what was wrong, but I decided to save that conversation for later. I was hoping it was just another one of his random mood swings, but I knew better. The tension between us seemed to be getting worse and worse to the point where it was unbearable sometimes – no most of the time.

As we walked down the hallway to our next class I couldn't help but blurt out the question I that had popped into my head just moments ago. "Is something wrong?" I asked, repeating the question he in turn had asked me earlier.

His eyes turned a darker shade of topaz and he seemed to be glaring at me. "No, nothing's wrong." he said, mocking my earlier response to his question. I winced; that wasn't the response I was hoping to receive, but I guessed I deserved it. His tone was cold and even when he did get upset around me he never sounded so cruel. I bit my lip and looked down at the floor. To continue talking would only make the situation worse and I was determined to make things better between us.

As we entered our next class and sat down Edward still continued to stare at me and I hoped he would forgive me for whatever it was I had done. I could see him looking at me throughout the period and I used my hair as a shield as I had done on the first day I had attended this school. I tried to pay attention to what the teacher was saying, but that obviously never happened. I was too busy worrying about Edward and worrying about my grades.

The rest of the day once again seemed like hell. Lunch had to be the worst part of the day. Edward and I didn't speak at all to each other. Alice tried to be helpful and fill in the conversation, but it didn't help. When she asked one of us a question I'd answer with as few words as possible and Edward wouldn't say anything at all. Rosalie had her normal glare plastered on her face and Jasper didn't say too much. Emmett also attempted to quench the silence, but in the end the only ones who were talking were Alice and Emmett.

When school ended, I walked out to my car with Edward walking beside me silently. I had work today so it didn't matter how badly I wanted to talk to him; I simply couldn't. When we arrived at my car I fidgeted. I wasn't sure what to say. I wasn't even sure if I should say anything at all. If Edward noticed the fact that I was speechless, and I was sure he did, he didn't say anything. He waited patiently for me to say something.

I opened my mouth and the words came out in a rush. "I have work tonight so I'll see you tomorrow then?" I asked while wringing my hands together nervously.

Before he answered the question I could've sworn I saw him resist the urge to smile, but that was probably just my wishful imagination. "I'll come by tonight." he said simply and looked down at me with his amazing eyes. I was dazzled once more and lost my ability to speak. I opened my mouth to say something, but all I could do was nod mindlessly. I was so excited that he was actually coming over, but then I wondered if he was coming over to break up with me again. I shook my head and tried to think positively, but I knew that thought would haunt me until he actually visited me.

He grinned at my lack of speech. "I'll see you tonight, then. Goodbye, Bella."

I nodded stupidly once more. "Bye, Edward." I said simply and opened my car door. He moved out of the way and waited for me to leave before going over to his Volvo. I drove away slowly trying to savor the image of him in my head.

When I arrived at my job I saw Mike's car already in the lot. I still wasn't sure if I should ask him to help me with Biology or not. I brought my books just incase though. Throughout my few hours at work I dropped things more than usual due to me constantly getting lost in thought. At the end of my shift I finally decided I should just ask for help. I walked up to him and put a smile on my face. I attempted to dazzle him as I asked him for help. "Hey, Mike I was wondering if you could do me a favor."

Mike responded almost immediately and grinned this really creepy wide grin. "Of course! What do you need me to do?"

I twirled my hair around my finger and looked up at him through my eyelashes. "I was wondering if you could help me with the Biology work. I didn't do so well on the test." I muttered.

His grin widened for some odd reason. I didn't think it could be any bigger, but I guess it just did. "Alright. When did you want the help?"

I shrugged and tried to sound casual. "I was actually hoping you could help me now." 

"Here?" he asked skeptically.

"Yeah…you see I don't really want anyone to know about the bad grade especially Charlie." I said cautiously. I almost slipped and said Edward, but I was glad for once that I was able to hold back my klutziness.

Mike nodded in understanding. "Okay then. I'll help you now. Do you have your book?"

I nodded and rushed out to my car to get my book. Mike helped me for about an hour and I caught up on everything that I missed. I understood the stuff we learned right away; I just needed to actually hear it. He constantly throughout the time we spent studying kept trying to touch my hand and do stuff along that line. Each time he did so I would politely ask him to stop and he'd scowl for a few minutes. When the study session, for lack of a better name was over I thanked Mike. "Thanks again Mike. You're a lifesaver." I smiled politely. "Just promise me you won't tell anyone." I said sternly.

"Of course. It was my pleasure, Bella. I'll see you at school tomorrow."

I nodded and tore off to my car with my book in hand. I couldn't spend another moment with Mike. His smiles and constant advances during the lesson were killing me. Couldn't he just take a hint? I got into my car and drove home quickly. I was glad when I beat Charlie home. He had a tendency sometimes to come home early to see if I was doing something I shouldn't. I rolled my eyes at the thought. It's like I was a little kid. I rushed through the door and up to my room (tripping several times on the way up as usual). I opened the door and was surprised to hear a lovely, velvety voice even if it was tinged with frustration.

"Where have you been?"


End file.
